My life: Healed to bring Healing.

For years, I have heard that God takes your life experiences, and uses them to shape us into who He called us to be. Nothing in our life happens by chance. The good and bad make us who we are and point us to where we are to be.
It’s funny because I have been under reconstruction the past few years. I have been taken from an environment that was extremely hands on. I went to a church where, if you were in leadership (as I was) you didn’t do anything with some type of input/ advisory. But then, I left that environment, and God took me on a journey just him and me. The previous environment provided buffers, security, and other people to tell you what they think. All that has its place and I don’t despise small things. But then, I came to a place where I was treading myself. God guided. His purpose was to show me Himself- aside from what others had labeled or experience him. There comes a time when we all must truly experience God for ourselves. In the past I had personal experienced God, but I had forgotten much living under the sheltered environment of ministry for 10yrs.
When the recession hit and I lost my job, I re-learned that God was my provider. When I had to work out payment arrangements with my landlord & my lights were shut off. I re-learned that God gives us favor when men and him. When I worked a fulltime job, partime job, & went to school fulltime while raising my son. I re-learned God is my strength. This spring when my school added a $ 2000 bill due to a clerical error. I re-learned that God will take care of me. He had to school applied a onetime $2000 grant bringing my account back to a $0 balance. That same spring, when a professor accused me of not doing my own work and I faced not graduating. I learned how God can restore your name. His superiors weren’t buying his story and would not allow him put it on my record. Thus, I passed the course and graduated. I could go on & on. This summer I moved down south to fulfill my dream, low my cost of living, and to obey God. Like Abraham, God has supplied for me. It’s been rough at times and I am human, but I have hung in there. Not everyone has hung in there with me, but those that God has chosen are with me. God has increased my strength, peace, patience, and never deserted me.
I have had much opportunity to spend time alone e with God since my recent move. Like in the Bible, God will get you alone to show you who you are… not what you thought you were... but who He created you to be.
Since childhood and through my adult life I have deal with rejection, abandonment, disappointments of those promising and not following through. It can take a toll on you… how you view yourself, others, and even God. I was reading the other day and God brought me to this scriptures. And said,”Daughter, starting today this is your past….”
Numbers 23:19 (New International Version,)
God is not human, that he should lie,
not a human being, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act?
Does he promise and not fulfill
Deuteronomy 4:31 For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.
Deuteronomy 31:6, 8 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” … The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged
Joshua 1:5 No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
1 Chronicles 28:20 David also said to Solomon his son, “Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you until all the work for the service of the temple of the LORD is finished
Psalm 27:10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me
Psalm 37:25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
Psalm 94:14 For the LORD will not reject his people;
he will never forsake his inheritance.
Isaiah 42:16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known,
along unfamiliar paths I will guide them;
I will turn the darkness into light before them
and make the rough places smooth.
These are the things I will do;
I will not forsake them
2 Corinthians 4:9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed
2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
God continued, “For the pain, disappointment, & rejection you experienced throughout your life, I will be faithful to show compassion & love toward you, & healed me. In turn, you will be full of compassion & be a vessel to heal others.”
2 Corinthians 1:3, 4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God

Now, I’m not going to say this is the 1st time God has spoken this purpose to me (to use my pain to help & show compassion to others). But, it is the 1st time, He got me alone.. way in Dallas where I know no one.…. And revealed to me & I could finally see how my life has lineup... even me pursing my psychology degree.
I just wanted to share. We all have a story. And God uses all our stories for a purpose. We are all uniquely special and made by God.

Realtionship- Healing

Unfortunately,I married too young at 19 years old. By age 24, my husband left. Since then, I focused on raising my wonderful son who is now 19 years old. I dated here & there, but nothing serious.

It's truly not till you are in a serious relationship that God can show you something about your self. As girl friend told me that a long time ago, but I only remember her words it now.

4.5 years ago,I met my *him*. Things were great,but we also had issues . Actually. He struggled with communication & commitment issues mainly from rotten thinking that it was impossible to balance both a career & a relationship. We parted for a while, and recently reunited.

What I didn't notice was that I had issues too (SMILE). And God showed me recently. I could never understand why this issue with my *him* bothered me so much during our break up period. Yes, communication is key & yes I deserved better. But, I always knew, it was deeper than that for me. Why did I act and it effects me as it did? Why this particular issue?

Recently , I shared with my *him* something I was going through. He immediately volunteered to help. Without thinking I made a grunt. He grunted back. Immediately, in my spirit I felt I hurt him.

Afterwards, God kept dealing with me. God explained to me that whoever the man t is in my life, God made him naturally to want & need to protect, take care of, & love the woman in his life. I have not let man do any of those things for me. I have been known to share with my girlfriends that I desire such, but in reality I don't let it happen. Healing is needed.

God further explained that growing up with an alcoholic father had a price. My father adores me. However, when dealing with my dad, I would never know what to expect. He had two personalities. On one hand, he was my loving father who is crazy about daddy's lil girl. On the other hand, he was also alcoholic that would share his heart with me one moment, only in the next moment rip you apart verbally. This cycle opened the door to make me second-guess another intentions & heart toward you.

Secondly, God said that my mother raise us girls to be independent. This is great. I have learned much from her awesome wisdom & strength. But, I rarely saw my mother ‘depend, relinquish, submit, etc “ to my father.

God is now teaching me to balance independence with openness to a man that loves me and desires to protect, care for, and provide for me. I am a good judge of character and heart and that I need to stop second-guessing others & myself. It’s unfair to the person on the other end and stops me from experience what God has for me fully. So, I’m humbly practicing this today.

My Abraham experience – There is a RAM in the Bush

A while ago, God began speaking to me about leaving my home. He gave me a few instructions on the physical move. I was to move 15 hrs. away from home to a state where the only person I knew would be close to 4 hrs away.

Like Abraham, I was obedient. I moved my son & myself and only took what God told me to take with us. I was truly starting out on a journey... a new adventure. I was excited about my fresh start, living in a new city, and it’s possibilities. I believed I was moving for better financial opportunities. God allowed me t o go back to school and complete my degree this year. I saved up a little money. I was ready for MY new adventure

What I didn’t understand yet was that God also had HIS own agenda. Did you know that when God gives you instructions, it’s on a need to know basis? The plan I mapped out worked well for a while. We live off my savings. I sent my son back up home to live in the dorms. I even kept interviewing. Everything was fitting into plan.

Then my savings began to get near to none. Now, what? Did I miss God? I normally don’t just pick up & half hazardly and do stuff like this. God used the time after my son went away to college... my alone time to minister to me.

He reassured me that I wasn’t crazy. Then, we continued on with HIS journey. He ministered to me through various words. As mentioned in my previous blogs, I kept my attitude right. I despise not small beginnings. I remained thankful. I confessed daily what He spoke to me through his word that this was my DUE SEASON. While I waited for Him to do what only HE could do, I continued by faith.

This week, during Bible study, the Pastor used Abraham as an illustration. God asked him to sacrifice His son. In the end, we know that God had already provided the provision = the Ram in the bush. But, Abraham didn’t have that knowledge when He started out by faith.

I could relate to Abraham’s experience. Like him, I heard from God and now I’m all the way out here. You begin to doubt yourself. Through this experience, I learned that I may live alone now and I maybe in a new city alone, but I am not alone. For, God is truly with me. This journey was about obedience and trust. It’s a test.

And just as it was with Abraham, I took hold of the word that God had a Ram. Pastor said get ready for a “Get ready for a turn around.” I confessed it. Today, just one day after bible study, I received a job offer. God is a faithful God! I’m so thankful for the experience of getting to know God on this level. He is my Fortress, my Way Maker, my Provision, the Good Shepard! I give Him praise!

Small things

If you have been reading my blog long, you know that it is dedicated to those who dare start over and make a change. A time comes in our lives when we make a decision and say to ourselves that’s time for a change. This change maybe a relationship, a career, obtaining a degree, relocation, taking better care of ourselves, etc. Whatever it maybe, our mind is made up and begin to take the necessary steps toward realizing our goal.

Often when we start over, we have to go backwards (so to speak) and begin a new. For example, you make be a powerhouse in the boardroom at work. But you have decided to change careers. Now, you’re in school starting over and going to class with people young enough to be your own child. For every goal, there is a beginning. And in beginnings, we can often become frustrated. If we are not careful, we begin to complain by saying such things as “My business isn’t making enough money yet”, “ I relocated and don’t know anyone”. “ I started a new job, but I’m at the bottom again” or “ I can’t find a job”. I understand these are legitimate frustration and I have been through them. So, if this is where you are, I sympathize with you.

I write to encourage you to hang on. Trust that you have not made a mistake when you decided to start over. Don’t give up and throw in the towel yet. Persevere just a little while longer. And whatever you do, do not despise small things. It’s the little things that matter. Be thankful for what you do have and the dream that is inside you that will come to fruition. During this time, it is easy to complain. Don’t. Keep a positive grateful attitude. If you do not give up, remain faithful, and keep pulling away, in due season, you will have the harvest you are looking for.

I believe that God bless all who does not despise small things or new beginnings just because their situation may not be glamorous. God also looks for those who are thankful where they are no matter what. Can you get to a place where you are content even through your life is now in transition and maybe uncertain compared to before? Lastly, as we look for our endeavor to be successful, I would advise you to look for ways to be a blessing to others. We truly reap what we sow. Even major corporations have this concept down. I have been employed corporation that have entire departments that looks for ways to give back to the community. They have discovered that in attaching themselves to others, their organization will prosper. Now, you try it.

Forgiveness and Love

Walking in love and forgiveness is a daily thing. It's also a choice. Tank you , God for your strength and assistance.

End of an era and a beginning of another

In 48hrs, I put my son on a plan & off he goes away for his 1st yr in college. As my son begins go to go away to school, I have so much emotion. It's an end of an era and a beginning of another. I am thankful to God for all he has done

The college selection & preparation process

It’s only 5 days until my son moves into the dorms. I look back on the journey and realize all the hard work it took to pull this off. I’m blessed with a pretty good kid, grades were good, and he is goal oriented. Raised in the single-parent home, he graduated early a semester from high school, attended our local community college, and now is going off to school.

There were so many steps from deciding on a college, the admission process, selecting classes, and preparing to move into the dorms.

This blog is dedicated to all the parents that are looking at send their children to college in the next couple of years and find themselves overwhelmed with the process and financial out look.

The college selection & preparation process:

1) Take the ACT or SAT.

2) Narrow down 3-5 schools of interests (see my blog – How to chose the right college)

3) Visit the colleges- School are happy to give tours. Many schools have Open Houses.

4) Apply top 3-college choice- Fall of H.S. Senior yr. Application fees range from $25-50 each.

5) Complete the FAFSA form – completed this online at http://www.fafsa.ed.gov January of the H.S. Senior yr. There is no charge for this form. It is free. You will need your W-2s and completed tax return to complete this form. There will be a section on the form where you will be asked to enter your school choices. Within a few days, you and the schools of choice will receive the results on the form. This form has many purposes. It helps illustrate your family need, family contribution and is a springboard for administration of free monies from the Federal and State Pell Grant programs. Please don’t assume you don’t qualify. Fill it out anyway.

6) Wait for College acceptance letters & their Financial Aid Award letters. For my family, the financial aid award letter was key. We were looking for what college could give the most financial aid and less out of pocket cost for us. We were blessing to have most of tuition & dorm paid.

7) Pay Admission Deposit– once you’ve made your choice on the right college, the college will require an admission deposit. This normally around $ 200. It is non-refundable, but usually applied toward tuition. Schools deadline for the Admission deposit is normally in the spring your child’s H.S. Senior year.

8) Apply for Financial Aid- Also in the spring of H. S. Senior yr, college have there own deadline for you to completed the college’s own forms for financial aid. First to complete the forms and any requested documentation, receive the most financial assistance possible.

9) Apply for University Housing- during this same spring on H.S. Senior yr, a housing deposit is required. Normally, it about $500 and is refundable if met by a certain deadline. This deposits guarantees a housing spot in the dorms, which goes very quickly. Please note that you child will need a meal plan, which is a separate cost.

10) Confirm your placement in English and math courses. – New student must take a placement test for English & Math.

11) Meet with your Academic Advisor and Register for classes

12) Attend New Student Orientation.

13) Obtain a School ID Card. – This card can be used for ID, washing clothes, the library, Computer lab, meals, etc

14) Final School Transcripts. - Send final high transcripts to college.

15) Purchase items for the dorms (A separate blog coming soon)

Tacori

A long term dream I have is to be united with the one that God has made specifically for me. Yes, eventually, I would like to be remarried to the right person.

I imagine what he would be like. A christian, strong, passionate, a great sense of humor, patient,attentive, generous, loving, supportive, my best friend, dependable, trustworthy, etc. He values a good woman and works hard on his relationship.

But this blog today is not about that man somewhere in my future. I will blog on that later. Today is about TACORI. Yes, I'm really not an extravagant person nor materialist it, but I have never seen jewelry made by anyone else that catches my eye. Tacori's engagement and wedding rings are so elegant. My dream is to own a ring by Tacori one day. Check out their website and tell me you don't agree. There's nothing like Tacori. http://www.tacori.com/

Fruits of My Labor

For so many years, there has been many challenges and hard work. At times, I began to wonder if I would ever reach the end to see my goals. This year has presented itself some challenges as well. However, I have also been fortunate to see some fruits of my labor This year alone, I have graduated with a Bachelors degree, moved to the state of my choice, been accepted to the grad school of choice, finally qualifying to apply for Federal jobs, and sending my child of to the college of his choice. Life is good!

Think it not Strange

I admit. Today is a harder day for me. I have obeyed God and moved by faith. It's been wonderful. However... Whenever we step out on faith to do something God has called us to do, there will be opposition. But, we must keep the faith. We are on the winning team. God's already has it worked out. In the end, we will prevail.

1 Pet 4:12, 13 (KJV)
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.


1 Pet 4:12, 13 (NIV)
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

Dream 3- graduate school

Just 2 years ago, I returned to school to complete my Bachelors. I have graduated this summer. On September 11th, I will be starting graduate school. I"m so excited.

Being Spirit -Lead

For years , I have felt led to come and attend Potter's House. Last Sunday, I did. And the experience was priceless. It's like my entire move mad sense. I knew I was in the right place at the right time. God is so faithful.

Many times he will tell us to "get up & Go" without giving us the details. But, when we get there, we are never ashamed. We are blessed. I am thankful for being obedient. And I 'm so thankful to God.

Romans 8:14 - For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

How to move long distance on a tight budget

And I can tell you that you can still move interstate long distance fairly cheaply. Here’s how we did it…

1) Take nothing large with you – no furniture. It all can be replaced eventually & it cost too much to move.

2) Have a garage sale

3) Donate items to Salvation Army.

4) Decide what is essential to take.

5)What you can live without for a week ship via post office via Parcel Post rate mail (this may cost a few hundred dollars vs. $1000 or more for movers, renting a hitch/ trail, or u-haul)

6) Pack up your car with essentials for 1 wk – (clothes, kitchen, & bath items)

7) Drive there. Our trip was 15 hrs. We drove in 2 days staying in a hotel 1 night that I had a membership discount for. We paid for gas & ate cheaply on the road. You can also bring a cooler for snacks, drinks, & sandwiches.

Dream 2 accomplished- Relocating to the south

Once I knew my earning my degree was set in stone, I began looking toward completing another long-term goal I have had. I felt it was time to relocate. Nothing against the Midwest, but I felt the south calling me back home. My family gave me flack. They still do. But a girls got to do what a girl’s gotta do.lol

I’m here and I love it!

Dream 1 accomplished-I graduated at 40!!!!

It’s hard to believe that just 2 years ago, I went back to school to get my degree. It was scary, exciting, and challenging. I learned so much academically as well as about my own capabilities. Only two years later, I am graduating this summer with my Bachelors and, baby , I’m smiling!!!!

I also just got accepted to the graduate school of my choice. You go, girl! Lol I’m 40 and proud!

How to Choose the Right College

This is a great question and the answer varies with individual. But here are a few things to get in mind.

1) Size - large university or smaller college
2) Class size – large auditor or small classrooms
3) Private/ public
4) Cost
5) Classroom/ online
6) Urban/ college town/ rural
7) Diversity
8) Reputation
9) Teaching or research college

When choosing a college for myself, as well as my son who will be starting this fall, we looked at reputation, class size, diversity, & whether it fit our personality. I have not been disappointed at our decision.

How to finance My College Education

So now my student loans were in good standing, how do I finance my education?

1) Complete a FAFSA form at http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/

2) Apply for scholarships at my school of choice. Colleges will give you monies based on grades, major, being a 1st yr student, etc.

3) Apply for outside scholarships – there are several great websites out there. Many scholarships are given for, grades, returning to school, ethnicity, affiliation, interests, etc. here are some great sties.

www.fastweb.com

www.schoolsoup.com

www.zinch.com

4) Most colleges also have payment plans.

Going back to school with Student loans

A few years back, frustrated with my life, I decide to start over.


The first thing I decided was to go back to school to get my degree. I had been putting off going back to school for years. Oh, I had all kinds of reasons not too. The cost of going back, defaulted student loans, didn’t want to be in the classroom, & I thought I didn’t have the time and that I was too old. But, I got tired of being pushed over for promotions that I was qualified to do just because I didn’t have degree.

So, how do you go back to school if your student loans are in default? My recommendation is to avoid scams and go straight to the source. The government has an excellent program. The U. S. Department of Education‘s William D. Ford Federal Direct Loan Program. They will consolidate all your loans (even the defaulted ones) and set up a payment plan based on your income. (Payments not required while you are in school). Here’s the website http://www.dl.ed.gov/ find the loan consolidation link- which will lead you to https://loanconsolidation.ed.gov/AppEntry/apply-online/appindex.

My purpose - To encourage those to dare to start over.

Have you ever watched any of the Tyler Perry movies?   Regardless of which one, there’s always a woman who, through an event in her life, is forced in a transition and she begins to start over.  Through her new found journey, she grows, and discovers strengths and talents she never knew she had.  At times, she has to make decisions which requires her to take a leap of faith and try something new, but she soon finds herself successful.

This blog is dedicated to all the women that are not afraid to start over.   On here, you will find encouragement, tips, and just plain heartfelt truth.